Monday, June 30, 2008

Well it has been a long time hasn't it :)

Wow - almost a year since my last post - thanks to a comment from Moy (whom I do not know!) I thought I should update - quickly.

So.. when I last wrote it was pretty much as I was beginning to come out of the depression - though I don't think it was really until November 2007 (almost a year after going manic) that I felt good again. And I knew I was feeling better as I was cracking jokes again :) Always a good sign.

I have since started onto Lithium - which is the classic Bi-Polar (though I am still in denial about that one) drug. Will be on that for 3 years total - and then clear of the lot.

I do think a lot about what happened to me - what it all means. For example - when I was manic I would have sworn blind that I was healing people with my thoughts. I honestly believed I was.

I wasn't.

But I completely believed I was. It does make one wonder sometime about saints & miracles etc...

I am now back in work full time - with a nice wee promotion, and generally things are looking pretty sweet really.

If I could choose again, I would not do Vipassana. This is not because I don't think there is some value in it - but because for me & my make up it obviously didn't fit well. I think it is utterly irresponsible of them to take anyone off the street onto the course with no training or preparation. It's a huge mental stress you're putting yourself under..

One laughs now, but seeing as I thought I was pretty much like Jesus (not Him, just like Him - quite normal really)... I had a go at walking on water.

Didn't work.

But imagine I'd thought I could fly?